Sparty’s Obituary

A neighbor or ours and a great admirer of Sparty wrote the official obit for “The Greatest Dog in the Whole World”.

SPARTACUS (“Sparty”) GINTHER, 10, MUSE AND BON VIVANT

–Not the New York Times News Service—

        Spartacus Ginther, the occasionally lively and always amusing Beagle, died on Thursday, May 13, 2010, at Hillsdale, New York. He was 10 years old.
        Spartacus, known to all and sundry in New York City and Columbia County as “Sparty”, had been in good health. On that beautiful spring day, Sparty had been running free on his property and, with great concentration, sunning himself on his deck. But he had come inside with a limp, lay down on a bed made–not surprisingly–just for him, and appeared unwell. Shortly after, he passed away at the veterinarian’s office, apparently having suffered heart failure or a stroke.
        Sparty had enjoyed a full life, or at least as full as he was interested in. His agents, chefs, valets, butlers, and an occasional trainer always attended to his needs. Which in reality were few but deep: tasty food served regularly and often; sleep: deep and long preferably on soft furniture coveted by humans and in spots blessed by warm sun; constant and deeply felt affection bestowed with gratitude by his agents and servants; and, (on occasion) exercise, even at times exercise in which he participated.
        Sparty was a dog of many talents and accomplishments. He had won the affection of countless humans in addition to his agents and servants and including chance encounters on city sidewalks. Sparty took particular pride in the bestowal of the Best In Show award in February 2008. (Or maybe he didn’t … it is not always easy to tell with Beagles.)
        Sparty’s agents, Ray and Marie Ginther, were devastated. “Sparty was the best dog in the whole world!”, lamented Ray. Marie worried that Whole Foods and Lobel’s Prime Meats might not be able to stay in business without Sparty’s patronage. “But those many shopping trips, lugging heavy bags of food home for Sparty were labors of love,” cried a tearful Marie.
        Sparty’s huge and creative sense of humor not only provided much of his adopted family’s entertainment, he inspired Matt, Sparty’s butler (also a son of agents Ray and Marie) who had developed a dry and deadpan sense of humor clearly derivative of Sparty’s. “I learned from Sparty that funny lines and funny acts are best if the speaker appears not to notice they are funny,” said Matt who is now casting about for a muse of comparable talents. “I despair of finding another as inspiring as Sparty,” he said. He and his girlfriend Emily were privileged to be at Sparty‘s bedside to be of comfort and witness his last “woof’s”.
        Tommy, Sparty’s valet and sometime trainer, (also a son of Ray and Marie) is an accomplished hockey goaltender. He credited Sparty with all his success in that sport. “I learned first from Sparty that bulk was essential. He then taught me that the most important players in many sports were the one who had to move the least. He often asked ‘Hockey centers and forwards must move all the time – but do they get fed any more than the goaltender?’ He said I could also be a baseball catcher but catchers had to go back to the bench at least nine times a game while a goalie only had to go back three times in a game.”
        Sparty began life on February 29, 2000, which technically made him only 2, but Sparty found that too confusing and, besides, did not want to miss three birthday cakes every four years.
        His first home with his agents and servants was in an apartment at the corner of Madison Avenue and 94th Street where he found many, many admirers in the lobby outside his door and on the sidewalk. However, at about the same time, another “Spartacus”, a pretender according to Sparty, took up residence in the building. As if the attempt to aggrandize his name were not enough, this second “Spartacus” was a hyperactive Jack Russell terrier – an embarrassing breed to the dignified Beagle. And not least of all, the new Spartacus had never even enrolled in Michigan State University, much less graduated from MSU as had Sparty (although as a stealth student).
        Sparty convinced his agents to move to the rarified air of a penthouse at East End Avenue and 79th Street where he spent many enjoyable days when he was not at his beloved country homes.
        Sparty was buried on that lovely country property and a memorial sunset maple tree was planted on the spot.
        Sparty is not survived by any canine offspring. In his early years he expressed regret at not being able to sire puppies, but later he confessed that they would have been competition for food and affection and would have interrupted his naps.
        His family has requested that in lieu of flowers, we all stockpile dog treats to take with us when we join Spartacus in the great beyond where he will be waiting for us with pleading eyes and his enthusiastically wagging tail!

        Thanks for the love, fella.

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